Strange Encounter

It is hard to make sense of superficial interactions. Having to put so much stock in emotional reactions is draining, especially for one who prefers logic and intellectual conquest. Trying to find deeper meaning in something devoid of emotion is enough to give someone an aneurism. Even when the other person opens up in a conversation, it seems hollow; the strange encounter continues.

Knowing human nature requires companionship is the motivation to continue the conversation. The conversation quickly devolves into a farrago of indifference and confusion. Not sure if the other person is damaged, but she seems disoriented. Remembering that it is best to make lemonade with lemons, it is important to remember that bad lemons makes for a bad drink. A great effort is made to keep the situation from becoming more awkward.

Feeling totally out of place as if trapped in a bad dream; the feeling of disassociation is overwhelming. It is not her personally, just the environment and circumstances. Phlegmatic as usual, just going through the motions in the usual default mode. All the while plotting to exit the situation to keep the minute amount of sanity from slipping further. In retrospect, it would have been better to avoid the situation in the first place.

Going through life and having awkward situations is happens from time to time. Getting caught off guard due to a lack of meaningful past experience haunted the interaction. Always craving something deeper but unable to attain it for various reasons made the past prologue. Not knowing where or how to find it is harder than finding El Dorado. Not having emotional needs met is unfulfilling in the quest for advancement.


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